Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Winter Reflection Two


Understanding vs. Agreeing


The other day I was loading the dishwasher and the silverware caught my eye. I have always wondered and I STILL want to know what is the proper way to load silverware. A lot of people load ''face'' side up and I don't understand that for two reason- 1) When the clean forks/knives/spoons are used, essentially someone's grimy fingers have been all over what you are about to put in your mouth. 2) When you are unloading you are more likely to ''accidentally'' stab yourself with the face up knives then if they were face down.

So, do you load silverware ''face up'' or ''face down?" And why? Because in my experience I see more people loading it face up then face down.  

That being said- usually I don't think any less of a person who puts silverware in the ''wrong'' way but sometimes in life we automatically think people who do things in a different manner then what we are used to are doing things the wrong way. And it's easy to get annoyed because they are obviously just not getting it!  

And you can face something like that two ways. One- get extremely frusterated (which sometimes there is no way around that one). Two- make a choice not to get extremely frusterated. 

Sometimes people do things differently and instead of automatically pushing the way you do things onto them- first, understand why they do what they do. Not always, but usually, there is a reason for it - even if the reason seems silly at least you are aware of it. Second, there's always something you can take away and learn- even if it's "I will never ever do that." Three, if you criticize and tell people how wrong they are- they will not listen to you and you will lose any sort of positive influence. And why should they listen to you? You have succeeded in raising their defenses. 

So in conclusion, sometimes open communcation and being willing to compromise just a  little makes all the difference in the world. You can actually walk away learning something that you wouldn't have if you had not been willing to see another's view point. And I did not say agree. Understanding and Agreeing are two completely different subjects. 

And not to rehash everything over and over- I have taken the liberty to copy and paste a section from an article in the Hawaiian Reporter. I found the breakdown of what the money was spent on to be interesting:

Obama’s trip to Oahu has proved much pricier to state and federal taxpayers.
In a Hawaii Reporter story published last week, some of the cost estimates included:
  • Obama’s round trip flight to Hawaii via Air Force One: $1 million (GAO estimates)
  • Mrs. Obama’s early flight to Hawaii: $63,000 (White House Dossier)
  • Housing in beachfront homes for Secret Service and Seals in Kailua ($1,200 a day for 14 days): $16,800
  • Costs for White House staff staying at Moana Hotel: $134,400 ($400 per day for 24 staff) – excluding meals and other room costs
  • Local police overtime: $250,000 (2009 costs reported by Honolulu Police Department)
  • Ambulance: $10,000 (City Spokesperson)
  • TOTAL COST: $1,474,200
  • Rental of office building in Kailua on canal
  • Security upgrades and additional phone lines to private homes where Obama and friends are staying
  • Costs for car rentals and fuel for White House staff staying at Moana Hotel
  • Surveillance before the President arrives
  • Travel costs for Secret Service and White House staff traveling ahead of the President

 Beyond the Obama's though- let's explore your cellphone. Police now have the right to search through your phone if you are arrested. I don't even think it matters what you are arrested for- they still have the liberty to go look through all your emails/text messages/ etc... I find that somewhat disturbing. Not because I have anything to hide but because it's an invasion of my personal property. So, go ahead and start password protecting your cellphone. You never know when it might come in handy.


  1. Love the metaphore, Em. Mo' lyke metaphive if you ask me.

    P.S., the reason someone would put their silverwear face up in the dishwasher is for a spacial spread allowing more of the fluid to hit the parts that go in your mouth. In newer dishwashers it shouldn't matter though; and I go face down for the same reasons you do. ;)

  2. i get ya - it's that way with my fiancee and i... we do things way differently in many ways but we learn to just accept it... as long as the job gets done right. P.S - i load it face up. :)

  3. I totally agree! We should be open minded and willing to try and see something from someone else's perspective.

    That is just ridiculous all that money spent. Makes me wonder if he really cares about this country at all.

  4. My mom and I have the silverware argument every time I go home. I always put the silverware facing down for the exact reason you give. I DO NOT want people's germy fingers all over the my forks. Yuck! However, my mom likes to put them face up. She says it's to prevent all the dirty water from getting trapped with the tops. I don't buy her argument at all haha

  5. if only my kids would put their dishes in the dishwasher i'd be happy, - i wouldn't give a toss whether they were face up or down, just as long as they weren't left on the freakin table...(i'm not bitter though!!)

    ...was obama on holiday's or was he there for work??...i'm sure he wishes at times he could just be a regular bloke and travel only with his missus and kids....and that dog...

  6. Nice metaphor! Growing up us kids were always responsible for loading the dishwasher. My father would go behind us, cursing, and rearrange the whole thing. Eventually, we gave up on loading the dishwasher knowing that we could never please him. To this day, we are all hesitant when it comes to loading the dishwasher at my parents house.

  7. yeah, I got my ways of doing things and my co worker has his way, doesn't mean his way is wrong or my way is wrong. different strokes for different folks :)

  8. I agree that we all make a choice! And it's always wiser for this choice to be to take it easy on yoruself and others and maybe teh first step should be tryign to understand one another and another person's ways and reasons for these ways.

    P.S. Do you think the police won't have the right to ask what your password is and make you give it to them? I think it's now part of tehir right too then, if it is said that they can serach through your phone?.. Hummm.